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The men, you should keep from!

All this started with the article “The woman, you should avoid!” and based on the obligatory promise I gave to the nicer half of the humanity, I continue probe of the men. No, we are not perfect, and not, even so, there are a couple of yahoos among us, who are constantly destroying our “public relations” about our humankind. But I will concretely speak up. These are the guilty ones….

These men can make the “HELL” from the woman life:

The Mother’s ass hole: Sodoma Gomora for each of his girl-friends. Everything and always he will compare with his mother. From cleaning up, through clothing, the kitchen is no exception. Girlfriend can do everything, but he will be her only via his body, and from time to time also via his brain. The heart remains with his mom….and her marinated beef tende.  In the everlasting shadow of perfect mother-in-law, nobody is able to last with full mental health out.

The Barrier: How to describe him…bumpkin, blockhead, chawbacon, or even I do not hesitate to tell caddish dickhead. Evolution of this man stopped somewhere between anthropoid monkey and human being. His intellect is equal to the temperature of summer heat. Maybe in the light moments of his mind, he can distinguish between day and night. On the other hand, he is the boon companion with a strange smile, he is not talking too much, but he insists on clean jean overalls and cold beer. The age, status, and beauty of his girlfriend do not matter to him because anyhow nobody wants him. He has troubles to take care of himself, not to take care of someone else…. even usually he forgets to give water to his hens and cut the grass.

The Boorish fellow: brutal yahoo and despot. He does not hesitate to put his hand on the woman over. His inferiority complex from low salary overstated jealousy and small dick, he vents his anger on his girlfriend. His friends and pub are his pure family, and he got married just to have cheap handmaid and assurance of fuck during conjugal duties. At the beginning of the relationship, it is like “blue from the sky” which later on turns to be “blue under the eye”.

The Story-teller: Also Hans Christian Andersen would hold his head in his hands and would say “How are you doing it, fucking you?”. His stories, experiences, and memories are in many cases attractive for the audience, but the true you should not try to find there, as there is a little of it as in the political campaign promise. Class act wants to be interesting, he wants to be popular, attractive and he desires recognition. Once the reason is kind of complex, another time it is even health diagnose. I was there and there…. I did this and that….next year I will build a house… I know that and that people… At the beginning, it works for most of the human female, but it is easy to see through it, in a short time.

PS: the highest form of this kind is “Grimm the Third” (after the real children’s story-tellers Jacob and Wilhelm Grimms’). This is the guy, who is repeating the same lies so many times, that he by himself starts to believe in them.

The King of everything: His ego is visible also out of the stratosphere, his arrogance out of ionosphere and his prig is making rounds around Pluto planet. The Beetle “Truhlik” from a fairy tale about “The ant Ferdo” is in his eyes only dementic amateur. He will never accept his girlfriend as equal because HE is the most important alpha male, who knows the best of all and understand everything. Of course, he knows better also the baby delivery. For coincidentally shooting him down, the women should only get a condition.  

The Big Child:  He wants this! It doesn’t matter whether it is a new jacket, although recently he bought another 2 jackets, and the clothes-moths are still barfing from them in his wardrobe. He wants that cell-phone, although it is only one series up comparing to his current one. He does not care, that his family has nothing to eat and they need to deal with his debts. He wants that brand new car, although, for that money, he would already have half of his house and would not need to pay monthly inequitable subrent. He WANTS THAT….and the others, he does not care!

The Copulator: His main brain has a supporting system, which is allocated approximately one meter above the ground. Usually, in most of the cases, it is supporting system who is taking the lead of the whole man body and suddenly the sadness in the eyes of the woman is here. At least in a case, when it is revealed, that horny homo speleologist likes to visit actively also other pink caves, and he is not shy to seek also new ones, or the ones not touched yet. He introduces his stalagmite without any shame and blames to unknown women, often also without the appropriate protective suit. Once consequently, he brings to his home cave something not really nice and genital, the tears will not drop only from the eyes.

The original Slovak version: Muži, ktorým sa treba vyhnúť!

Related article: Woman , you should avoid!

Autor: Myshoun / translation Dáška, 17.9.2017